Why Do We Hurt Those We Love?


Why do we hurt people that we love? You know I’m not convinced that the average person sets us to hurt their people, specifically their partners. I do feel though that perhaps that feeling of inadequacy and lack of worth from childhood has us make choices that are consistent with what we know to do. I think that the way in which we dealt with early childhood trauma is what we look to as comfort as adults. Now, when we are just dealing with ourselves our poison of choice doesn’t seem so bad. However, when there’s someone else involved, there are two people coming into this partnership with insecurities. You won’t really see it at first, but once that honeymoon period is over and that familiar feeling of this being too good to be true creeps in, then the self sabotage can begin to create havoc in the space. Some issues that may arise could be one partner displaying their signs of sex addiction. That can show up as excessive watching of pornography, gravitating towards sexual images and or groups via social media (because if its on the computer then it can’t be dangerous), flirting with other people just to satisfy that feeling of needing to be needed and eventually cheating. The other person could be dealing with their food addiction as a result of their partner’s behavior. So they will probably not eat for a huge portion of the day but then all of a sudden then have this urge to eat everything in sight (but usually bread, sweets and anything that was familiar when they were stressed as a kid). The good brought them comfort and a sense of everything is okay.


So realistically we have two partners doing what they do to cope with their self sabotage but its the coping that’s the issue. They should be talking to each other. They should be creating a space to build up to a higher space and talk about how scary it is to be vulnerable and not wanting to feel like you’re risking your whole life and heart for nothing. So the same cycles are repeated because the work that it takes to rise to one’s higher self is a big deal. It takes a lot of work to really be 100% vulnerable, transparent and create a relationship based on our higher selves minus ego. It takes both parties being willing to stretch beyond where they are, go beyond what they normally do when scared and do something different and more consistent with who you want to be vs who you are right now.


Even though some people will like to paint cheating as nothing, it’s something. If you want to have sex with multiple people then have it, but don’t be in a relationship. Your lower self is having you dishonor your commitment and participate in casual sex just to do it. However in reality your expelling your energy that should be reserved for your partner. However you share it with these people with these lower vibrations, and the pornography and participate in groups where the premise is just sex them what exactly is sacred about sex in your bed then? Sex is something that you do when you share it with everyone. You are also sharing that lower energy with your partner and that is where that doesn’t work to be in a relationship.


So I’ll leave you all with this… No matter how many gorgeous faces you set your eyes upon whether be online or in person, if you already set your heart for someone, you will hardly notice anyone…. truth!

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