My thoughts on why some people never recover from a broken heart.
I think to fall in love is one thing that is exceptionally mind altering. Ha ha. It’s like this temporary insanity where you have your heart on the outside of your body and and you tell your partner “it’s yours”. I believe that once you’re at that state of vulnerability or insanity you actually know bliss. You become each others first text and last call. You create the space for each other that was reserved for this person that almost every person hopes will come. That person that holds you in their highest thoughts, your protector, your piece of peace in a world filled with daily wars, they are your refuge when everywhere else is stormy.
Now imagine all of that being ripped away for whatever reason. A break up, a partner dying or basically just the movement from this place of heaven on earth to purgatory.
The thoughts of being alone when you once thought that you would forever be coupled drives people insane. You replay promises that now lie at the bottom of your soul with the tears and jagged edges of what once was. You look at your phone and wait for calls and texts that do not come because that space is now vacant and you really don’t want to fill it again because the void is slowly engulfing your heart in darkness. Everything you thought you knew about love and being in love is now a memory.
That right there is what has people commit suicide, become catatonic, become mentally ill, over eat, over drink, over sleep or stop eating, stop sleeping or stop living life.
My way: love hard. Love like you mean it every single time. However be aware that the sun rises and sets every day like normal whether or not you are in love. The birds will fly. The fish will swim. To be in love is a privilege earned when you have loved yourself and learned that you even break your own heart by being so imperfectly human. Don’t hold someone to a higher standard of loving you than you do for yourself. Love yourself so much that you can be hurt if your heart breaks but your whole world doesn’t eclipse into chaos and you lose your orbit. Find your center. Be with your feelings and allow yourself the time to heal but do not lose yourself in your choice to be sad longer that what your spirit will truly allow. Your body knows when it’s time to stop grieving. Train your mind. You can do it.
Footnote: every individual's situation is different.