I’m so tired. Tired of letting my fears stop me in my tracks. Tired of clinging to my so called comfort zones that ironically bring me nothing but discomfort. I’m tired of thinking about ‘getting there’ and missing everything that is here, now. I’m so tired. Tired of feeling depressed, hopeless, a mess and down right stressed. This quest that I am on has certainly had more valleys than peaks and I am so tired that I am ready to change. Hopelessness gives birth to hope with patience. Can you sit with hopelessness without trying to distract yourself away from it?
I’m ready to loosen up and lighten up. I’m ready to see the wall of fear and then take a brave step through it. I’m ready to stop the excessive over analysis that is leading to nothing but my own paralysis. Over analysis and overthinking that inevitably leads to overwhelming. I am responsible for the reality that I choose to live in. I am both the problem and the solution.
Nothing is external, the only enemy is within me.
If you asked me though, I wouldn’t change anything. Every step along the way has been so necessary and I am grateful for all of it. How do you appreciate being present and mindful with out first being anything BUT present and having your mind-FULL of thoughts, spinning stories and distracting you from the here and now? Contrast is a beautiful thing. Life is full of blessings disguised as painful lessons. See them through to the other side and that is where your treasure awaits you. Get so tired of being sick and tired that it spurs you onto change.
And know that however you are feeling in this moment, you are not alone.