I often wonder what people mean when they say that they love someone more than themselves. I wouldn’t want someone to love me more than they love themselves because that love must certainly be questionable. Loving oneself is the greatest gift you can ever give yourself. Loving yourself frees you from tolerating nonsense and standing up for yourself. Loving yourself allows you to be real with yourself and others without hesitation even if it means loving the people from a distance.
This year was one that changed my life forever. I moved overseas, I started a new career, I fell in love with a beautiful man whom i cherish with all my soul, I started doing my own thing for once and let go of all those whom were once very close to. I am not ashamed to say that I love all these people but life takes us on separate life journeys. I have no problem moving away from friendships that are no longer age appropriate nor mentally fulfilling or emotionally supportive. I can’t speak for them but having a fulfilling career and relationship in love has opened my eyes to the kind of people I want in my life and the people that I don’t. It’s as simple as that. I hold no hard feelings, no malice, no harm intended but some people I choose to love from a distance and that is okay with me.
How many times have people made you feel guilty for making a choice that’s best for you but not necessarily best for them? They can feel however they want but YOU have to remember that you’re the star player in your life and you must look out for your best interest. Whether it’s choosing to leave a relationship, friendship or job if you’re not happy you have to make the move that will allow your bliss to flow. Staying in any situation that makes you unhappy or uncomfortable cannot possibly end well. Neither party appreciates being jerked around, and as much as parting ways may hurt at the time it is probably best for everyone. Keep in mind that people get hurt and they will say things from that place that are truthful for them. I was told that my love is conditional, I make rules but don’t play by them, I’m a hypocrite, I don’t really know what love is and plenty more. What I’ve taken away from those opinions is that they are just that, opinions. Did they hurt? Yes! Was I upset? Yes! Did I vent about it? Yes! Did it break me? No!!!! Hell no!! What it did was allow me to take a look at myself from their point of view. I admit that I have a way about me that can occur as cold and unwilling to check myself if you’re looking for it to be like that. However, what is the truth and what will never change is that I love my friends dearly and I will do anything for them. However, once I evaluate a friendship and it seems one sided or something is gone that cannot be replaced nor retrieved I bow out. I bow out in peace and wish them the best. Contrary to their beliefs I’m very critical of myself and I take a long hard meditation to fully grasp the situation. Things don’t always go the way I want them to, I don’t always say things with the most amount of compassion but the love is always there. Always!!
I shared about me so openly because there is freedom in it. I love myself and I love the person I have become and I’m never afraid to say that. I hope all my readers will also do the same by facing yourself and not being afraid to discover the parts of yourself that need polishing but you love you anyway. If you guys can practice loving yourself, flaws and all you’ll have an easier time walking away from situations that you no longer want to be a part of. I’ll say it again, you have to love you more than you love anyone else in order to be a truly unconditional lover. We only have one life to live and to love. Why would you want to waste it being miserable and uncomfortable? We shouldn’t. Love others but love you more.