Taking things personally. It happens to the best of us, even if it wasn’t the person’s intent we get wounded, our egos get bruised and we go on a rampage. Shame on us… Yeah right!!!!
If we didn’t take things personally, then we would not be human. Someone says something and we go off into our own world about how this person damaged us, hurt us, traumatized us and have completely destroyed our self-esteem. I know I am guilty of this. I sometimes often feel slighted by words and I take it very personally. However, once I calm down and really analyze what was said, even though it may have been hurtful, it was not personal. What I have discovered is that people are responding to their past more often than not when they snap at you or say something hurtful to you. They may have had a bad experience in the past and something about your interaction triggers that memory and they lash out as though you were who the person who hurt them initially. Don’t take it personally.
The other side of that coin is that when someone sings your praises, you cannot take that personally either. They can rant and rave about how amazing you are, and how you do such a good job, or you’re so beautiful and all these different praises, but what does any of that really mean? Nothing, it is just their opinion.
Here is what matters, your opinion of you. If you are very sure and confident with who you are and what you stand for, then nothing should be able to shake your faith in yourself. Imagine if you were walking down the street and a homeless person, seemingly out of their mind says to you that you are ugly and you need a face lift, chances are you probably are won’t think twice about that person’s opinion. However, if a well dressed man were to say the same thing you’ll probably go home and cry or become really defensive and angry. It all depends on who says it, and what they say, right? Well my beautiful people, who really cares what anyone says? You have to be sure who you are and know that you are whole, complete and beautiful and no one can take that away from you. If someone says you’re ugly, that opinion is theirs, if someone says you are beautiful, that opinion is theirs and frankly there is nothing for you to do about it other than say thank you either way.
Lastly, along with self love and self assurance there is also selfishness. Most of us when we take something personally we think it is all about us. It could be something as simple as someone not returning our call when we want them to, someone not reacting the way we want them to in a conversation, or whatever the case maybe. We think that it is all about us, and we make up this elaborate story about how they are out to get us, or that they don’t care about us and we start feeling unappreciated and diminished in our self worth, we gossip, we cry and get flustered…based on something we made up. Now, while we are selfishly focusing on our made up grief, we neglect to even check in with our loved one to see what is up with them. We cause an imaginary rift while our loved one could be going through a moment of crisis and we are focused on us. So, remember it is not about you.
Focus on being healthy and loving yourself fully. Work on being the best you that you can be, a whole, complete and perfect you, who doesn’t get tripped up on people’s insults or compliments.