Spilling the Secrets of a Wild Woman: Love her Wildly

You’ll know when you have a wild woman. She can’t be missed or mistaken. She will be bold, a free spirit. A woman who will not allow herself to be held to a standard, or a “norm”. She is her own leader and makes her own choices. She’s outspoken, dirty mouthed, and unapologetically passionate about what (and who) she loves.

To be wild means to be skin free, heart free and soul free. To be wild means to be led by the heart. And what I mean by the heart is the passion that ignites life and purpose in someone’s being. A wild woman is neither good nor bad; she is right in the middle, playfully creating her own sense of balance.

She finds strength in her independence and gathers confidence in being her curious, adventurous, driven self. She is most alive when she can explore, when she can feel the grass or dirt or sand beneath her feet, when she can talk with strangers, when she can recede into her own space and lose herself in the moment, when she is chasing what she believes in with passion and freedom. Her heart is not rooted to one specific place. She has the capacity to love so so incredibly.

Love her wild.

Let her feel safe in your arms, but not suffocated. Let her breathe her own air, battle her own demons, pursue her own passions, but be there, alongside her, doing the same. She will love you, and she will let you in. But she also wants nothing more than to stay her own person and to be that person next to you—growing with you, changing with you, becoming whole on her own and whole in her relationship with you.

A wild woman is rare, and she is hard to find. She is chaotic, if not chaos itself. A wild woman is full of surprises and is always up to some kind of adventure. She has love for everyone, and it’s that kind of love that comes with no conditions, no expectation, and no expiry date.

A wild woman is scary because she is a dream you have given-up on, a dream you’ve never thought would come true after all the broken promises, the disappointments and the heartache.

Yet, there she is that wild woman! She is standing right in-front of you, looking back at you with such grace yet power in her eyes that leaves you a clueless little kid all over again. She’s a healer, someone who others come to for guidance. She loves hard and prefers kindness, yet is a warrior. She’s uncontrollable and unstoppable. If you try to control her, she will rebel against it. She rebels against anything that makes her uncomfortable, makes her question herself, or she knows isn’t right.

Don’t try to control her. This woman is wild. Not in the sense of reckless and dangerous, but in the way that she is not compelled to follow the rules or traditions of the world. She does not agree with toeing a line and staying safe, or doing the ‘right’ thing or as she’s told because that’s what someone desires of her. Don’t try to control her. Don’t try to convince her that your perspective is absolute or your thought process and decisions are the only way. Don’t try to keep her from expressing herself, her feelings, her beliefs. Don’t try to change her, but converse with her. Show her a different way of thinking, of living. Be open, as she is. And love her as she is.

It takes a certain type of energy and soul to love a wild woman the way she’s supposed to be loved, the way that won’t hurt her wild heart or shatter her free spirit.

Her feisty, free spirit is why she caught your attention, remember that. Because it is these same traits that will test you later.

She fucks you right. She knows your weak spot but she never uses it against you unless she has her mind set on blowing yours. She cares about what excites you and she intentionally does what terrifies you. She is open-minded about trying new things and open to have the most honest conversations you have ever had. Giving is a natural instinct of hers: the more she gives, the more she has.

A wild woman is gentle and rough; she likes romance just as much as she likes kinky stuff. She ignites desire in your heart and body by stimulating your mind. She can read what you are thinking like she’s reading lines from her favorite book.

She drives you crazy because as much as you try to put your guard up, as much as you try to say no to her, as much as you try to keep her on some sort of an edge, she has you flying in the sky one moment and on the ground the next one.

Her kisses catch your breath away and they make you feel something you haven’t felt in a while. You just cannot keep-up, and you love it.

She’s a fighter. A wild woman does not give it to you on a silver platter. She calls you out on your shit. She is hard on you because she sees potential in you, she sees more than just the surface. A wild woman wants more and she does not settle for an almost something.

She is not a perfectionist. In fact, she just loves life so much that she wants to feel everything at the highest capacity. She is an optimist who makes the best of what she has. You can count on her because she does not bail on you in your moment of need. She does not give-up on you when you have given-up on yourself. And she does not give you up because things are tough or are not going her way. Although it might seem as she is fighting you, she is fighting for you, and she is fighting with you.

She shows you dark & light. She’s been at the top of the world just as much as she’s been at the lowest place you could imagine. A wild woman keeps it real, so she shares with you her most delightful moments and the saddest ones because she is not afraid of showing her vulnerable self on a good or a bad day. She is equally comfortable under the sun and under the moon; she is the definition of raw.  

She’s a force of nature with fire in her veins and nature in her heart. She is strong like the winds of a storm and runs wild like river waters. She moves with the moon and her eyes hold the stars. She sees herself for what she knows she is: a goddess. She won’t be treated like anything less, or here comes the warrior.

We are a rare breed of woman and should be treated as such. She can’t stand back and watch someone be hateful. She speaks her mind and her mouth knows no filter. The thoughts and opinions of others don’t concern her or affect her life. And it can come as a shock to realize that this goes for everyone. Friends, family, partners, everyone. If she feels disrespected, she will let you know, sooner than later.

She can’t pretend. There’s no way to hide her emotions because they come through her face and body. So, when she embarrasses you by tearing the rude grocery clerk a new one, or when she tears you a new one because of your tone of voice with her, remember, this is why she’s worth so much. She’s real. Authentic and raw. Something this world lacks.

Observe her. Study her. Learn her.

Most wild women are at their best when working in correlation with nature. Being outdoors and experiencing nature is essential my wild heart. Astrology, plants and nature, and the lunar phases are all important. Every woman is different, wild or not. Figure out what she’s really like, the real her, the her behind closed doors, the her she is with you. Find what she’s interested in.

Learn her behavior patterns, her triggers, and how to soothe her.

She expresses her feelings and lets both her mind and heart be her guide. She is not afraid to feel, to love, to let people see who she is. She is not scared of passion, of commitment, of being vulnerable. She is the most comfortable when she is outside—experiencing, learning, feeling the earth around her. You may not be this way, and you don’t have to be. But learn her ways. Walk her walk. Be open and experience the world through her eyes.

Set her free. She won’t run from you, be dishonest towards you, or break your heart, for she loves to love. Setting her free does not mean watching her fall for someone else, or standing there powerless as she leaves. Setting her free means you won’t hold her back from becoming the woman she’s meant to become. Setting her free means you’ll let her be herself, without guilt and with full your trust. Setting her free means you won’t have a tight grip on her, or watch her every move. Setting her free means you love her for who she is, and won’t grab her so tightly she can’t move. Setting her free means you love her enough to let her be herself. For she will be loyal to you until the end of time.

She craves deep conversation, understanding, and soulful connections.

Open up to her. She feels everything so deeply, from the energy of the natural world to the emotions dancing in her heart. She will feel the most connected to you, the most intimate with you when you let her know what’s on your mind. When you break down the walls, when you open your heart, when you stop trying to hide and you fully let her in. Express your emotions. Be truthful and vulnerable. Let go. And in return she will shower you with affection and care in the purest form.

Show her your permanence. She is used to love that leaves. Sometimes she is too big, too much for people to be with, and so she’s become familiar with the temporary, with people who make promises they don’t keep.

Prove to her that you’re not that person.

Show her that when you say, ‘I love you,’ you mean it. That when you say you’re here, you’re not going anywhere. Be the support she needs, the ground she’s standing on, the security she’s craving, though she’ll never admit it. Be the person who is permanent in a world that’s ever-changing. Show her how beautiful it is to slow down sometimes. Be the stability and security to her wild.

Tell her about your life, your past, your struggles and achievements. What makes you happy, what keeps you awake at night, your childhood. Talk about the world, people, outer space, nature’s wonders . . . these are things that interest her. Things that are beautiful yet mysterious because they’re hard to understand . . . like her. A powerful, deep connection with our partner (or lack of) will make or break a wild woman’s relationship.

Find your middle ground. Be willing to compromise. Find a place where the two of you can meet halfway—her still wild, but rooted to your relationship; you stable, yet willing to embrace a life without so many rules. Make peace with the different parts of yourselves and let go of some of your stubbornness. Decide that love is more important than being ‘right’ or living selfishly. Show her how to love you as you learn how she needs to be loved. Remember that two different people can fall for one another and create something beautiful.

Love her without conditions. Do not put guidelines on your love, or a manual for how she should love you. Do not only love her when she is calm or well-behaved. Do not only wish to love parts of her instead of the whole. Love her when she is happy, but also when she’s spiraling down. Love her when her head is spinning with ideas, but also when she’s silent and brooding. Love her moodiness, her chaos, her charisma. Love her when she’s loud and bright, but also when she’s quiet and forlorn. Love her because her wildness is what makes her human and flawed and wonderful. Love her without a deadline, without an expiration date, without expectations.

She’s been through a lot and there’s more to come. She knows how to take the pain and keep moving . . . but don’t let her do it alone.

The times when she is being tested, when she’s down and out, is when she’ll need you the most. Yes, she can get through it on her own. Yes, she’s as strong as a pack of wolves, but although these are her tests, they are also yours. Tests to reveal your true intentions, your empathy, and your love to her. She needs to know she can count on you to have her back, when the waters are too rough and she can no longer control the tides. Support her and love her through it, even if you’re doing it from the shore. All she needs to know is you’re there and she can count on you during her struggles.

Don’t let her dominance scare you.

Wild women are natural leaders and healers. We know we are as equally important and needed, so we won’t settle for being controlled, dominated, or made to feel unimportant. She leads her own life. Any attempt to tame her will only hurt her and she will break free every time. She chooses her own road, so if it’s the wrong path, she has no one else to blame. Let her lead her own way, make her own path. Support her along the way but give your opinion on things.

Love her, but leave her wild.

I know this.... Because I am one....

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