I can admit that some situations call for aggressive communication however the majority of the time there’s a strong need for gentle overstanding. I think that sometimes we are so lost in our own hurt and our stories that we think everyone posses a potential danger to us. I think this is what accounts for a lot of fear and loneliness in our world. What is the root of this irrational or very rational fear and mistrust of people? Well, you know what I always say you all look to the relationship you have with your parents or the people who raised you.
I don’t think parents can teach children fearlessness but I think they can teach self worth. Self worth is reinforced not when things are going well but when things are absolutely messy and crappy. Children look to their parents for comfort when they have messed up royally. They are looking for comfort and some sign that even though they have blundered they are still loved. Our children, like all humans are capable of massive chaos. They capable of losing our trust, and really driving us to want to hurt them. Imagine how incredibly pained your child must be feeling knowing that they have messed up though. Being in that situation can trigger intense fear and a spiral of downward feelings.
There’s a choice to be made here by parents and caregivers. The choice to show what unconditional love, redemption and forgiveness looks like in the face of a crisis. These are the moments where we teach our children about their worth and how much they matter. This is an opportunity to either traumatize or transform the life of your child. This is the opportunity where you get to show your child how much they are loved despite their blunders. This is where a lesson in compassion is critical for yourself and your child. You could choose to punish which disempowers them or you can really take the time to have both of you reach a space of empowerment but also have an emotional breakthrough. You are their gauge for compassion, self worth and redemption. What will you do with that kind of power? How will you show up?
Remember, you’re raising a future world leader. You have a life in your care that can either be a beacon of light in the world or a dark cloud. You have the power to raise a child who is capable of empathy and compassion or one who is scarred, traumatized and unsure of themselves. How you handle your child in a crisis determines how they handle their internal battles. You have been given a gift, take really good care of your blessing.