Some people have questioned what we do at home all day. Well here’s some insight to a full time stay at home mother before i became a full time career working mom with 4 very young children.
Yes, I did unpaid work, often thankless work, which starts from the moment you wake up, and doesn’t end when you go to sleep. Having that seldom hot cup of coffee or tea almost always gives you that in-the-moment time to breathe. My attention is always divided, often diverted from a moment to moment basis, and i cannot ever count on completing a task in the one go. Even the thought of getting any down time when you’re on your own at home is non-existent, even when you have a child who still has that one few hour nap in the daytime, i still have two other that are playfully running around!
The challenges as a mother are dealt with daily, usually with no peer support or backup. The help of a social networking friend is a godsend, because you can babble and cry out your day with other moms, but very few can just drop their routine to physically be with you as they are going through the exact same thing. The toddler tantrums, the toilet training accidents, the food battles, the food and toys on the floor, the crayons on the wall, the mud pies that somehow end up inside your house instead of outside, the sibling rivalry, the baby that never seems to stop crying and those dreadful mishaps of seemingly never-ending accidents and times of sickness. Oh, how the work seems incessant, like an endless cycle – I shop for food, prepare it, cook it, attempt to feed it to my children, clean it off the floor, wash the dishes, and repeat in three hours.
I fantasize about having an hour to myself to eat my lunch in peace, or about having an afternoon nap. I sometimes wonder if it’s all worth it, and feel envious of my friends whom are having coffee breaks at work, and on the flip side when your partner gets home in the evening after his work is done, he wants to put his feet up exactly when you need a break the most, and this can bring me to tears, not because of jealousy but because sometimes all we need is that hug that tells us that we are doing great and everything is going to be OK.
Many moms are misunderstood by so many who do not appreciate the difficulties of caring for small children whether be on your own or coupled, all day, and refer to you as joining the “latte set”. They imagine you spend your day sipping coffee while your children play quietly. We sometimes miss our financial independence and we feel amused and sometimes annoyed when others proclaim “TGIF!” because to you every day is the same – there is no Friday, no break from your job. Many people do not understand that you work – you simply work an unpaid job at home. We work weekends and nights, with no discernible end to our day or working week, but the rewards are joyous and through all the emotional battles so worth it.
Others will say, “I don’t know how you do it.” in admiration our infinite patience, our ability to face each day cheerfully and bring joy into our children’s lives even when they wear you down.
So, for all those mom’s out there, whatever your situation or circumstance (no everyone is the same), I admire your dedication to being a constant presence in your child/ren’s lives even if it isn’t always easy. I admire the way you work without expecting any reward – no promotions, no fame, no salary, and I want you to know keep on doing the best to let your children to feel important and loved…. Love and big hugs to you because this is what we do best.