In simplest of words, destiny is the karmic balance of our past life deeds. I don’t believe in good and bad deeds or good and bad karma. For me a karma is a karma only. Definition of good and bad is never constant. This is always defined differently by different societies at different times. However in order to make you understand the concept of destiny, I’ll use these words good karmas and bad karmas as defined by our current society.
It is a bit tricky to understand what was our destiny and what are our new creations. The simplest way to understand it is, whatever happens naturally to you, it is your destiny. Like in which family will you be born is not in your hands. It happens naturally to you. Who will be your siblings, its again natural. Love is always natural. You cannot plan to love someone, it just happens. Three things are for sure defined by destiny only, your birth, your marriage and your death. Over birth and death you already know you never have any control. In marriage sometimes, people think that they had chosen the wrong partner or they could have gone for someone else but it was never in your hands actually. No matter how hard you try, you’ll eventually land up with the already chosen one. For whatever you put an effort into, that is the start of your new karma cycle with that entity or that person.
In every life, almost all the time, we keep on creating new karmas by our everyday actions. Now as every karma of ours creates a reaction, we face the consequences of our karmas in this life and in the lives to come. Suppose we do x number of good karmas and y number of bad karmas in one lifetime, then we’ll face exactly x number of good times and y number of bad times in our next life or lives. I said life or lives because the Nature is so kind that it never gives one more pain than he/she can endure in one lifetime. Because of this sometimes the result of our bad karmas goes on and on for many lives. But it’ll only last till that y number is achieved. Also sometimes the bad karmas are so big in proportion that it takes hundreds or sometime even thousands of lives to pay for them. And same goes for good karmas also.
In every lifetime we see few good times and few bad times. And it is so because of our good karmas and bad karmas in our past life or lives. We call it the net result of these good and bad times; destiny. Suppose if someone has done some good deeds in a past life and thus created good karmas which will result in giving him/her happy times for twenty years and has also done some bad deeds which in result will keep him/her suffering for fifty years; then we say that this person’s destiny is now bad. Now, if it is the other way round, ie. fifty years of happiness and twenty years of sufferings, we say that this gentleman/lady has a very good destiny. If the happiness and the suffering come in equal proportions then that makes one’s destiny average.
Destiny can also be understood by our relationships. Suppose one loves someone to the core but the other person never reciprocates same feelings. Now it is because one must have never reciprocated the concerned person’s feelings sometime in a past life. Some people eventually find their love and remain happy with each other. This is because they have reciprocated each other’s feelings in past. Some people are loved by everyone around and we feel jealous of them saying what destiny he/she has. Now that concerned person must have showered love all around in some past life. Remember, we always reap what we sow. Only this is called destiny.
When the span of good and bad times is almost the same we call it an average destiny. Many of the people who keep cursing their destinies actually fall into this average destiny category. They don’t realise this and that is because they have never cursed their destiny in their good times. During their good times, they are simply not interested in the word ‘destiny’. They think that all good things have found their doors all because of all of their hard work. But the moment the bad times start knocking at their doors, they start looking for faults within "God’s" system and start cursing their destinies. It happens with almost all of us. We rarely have gratitude for the good times and we rarely learn our lessons from bad times. We are busy indulging ourselves in luxuries in our good times and we are busy cursing destiny and God as the supposed creator of destiny in bad times. We start screaming "Oh God, Why Me???" only in our difficult phases. No one screams "Oh God, Why Me???" in one’s happier times. We think that our good times are our own creation and bad times are someone else’s creation, so why not blame Him/Her. We always want the happy times to remain forever. This is simply not possible. Happiness and sufferings are the two sides of the same coin.
Let me quote you an example to make you understand what is an average destiny. An infamous man launched a company. He worked hard and in twenty years the company he owned was one of the biggest companies around. This man was playing with huge amounts of money. He was enjoying his success or his good times. Then one fine day he announced that he had actually diverted funds to the tune of thousands from his company to other shell companies. Now he must not have done it because some good sense prevailed inside him. However, he must have had no other choice. But yet it became one of the biggest corporate scams. His world came down, crashing in a day. His bad times started from that day. He lost all the money he had made. He was convicted and spent years in jail. When he was released nobody knew where he went. No longer hearing his name anymore. People who had bought shares in his company and who all lost their money because of him, undoubtedly now must be praying for the day when they can get hold of him.....
Now in case of this man, he had seen happier times for number of years. He suffered for number of years and he is anonymous for another number of years. He got everything in equal proportions. The proportions may seem big but still these are only proportions, however remember he suffered in big proportions as well. And proportions are also defined by our karmas only. Someone might think that this suffering is nothing compared of what he must have enjoyed all those years. But this is not true. Falling from the peak is never easy. Someone who once was the king, it is extremely difficult to spend time in jail, in company of thugs and murderers. This is what I call an average destiny.
Many people have only average destinies. Suppose one is born into a middle class family. He/She studies hard and secures a seat at an affluent school. He/She again works hard and after passing he/she gets a good placement. Then gets married and starts his/her family. Now he/she keeps on working hard and maintains a good lifestyle, goes on vacations abroad, goes to fancy restaurants, buys a good car and a good house etc etc. He/She keeps on enjoying the fruits of his/her hard work then one day he/she retires. Then one day he/she dies. He/she is nobody. No one knows his/her names. He/She has never done something which will make them known or remembered. He/She must have also had his/her share of bad times, stress, emotional setbacks, worry for his/her parents healths, worry for his/her kids etc etc. But this a very average life. Nothing of monumental proportions ever happen to him/her. He/She never created any karma which will give him/her anything of worth in next life, neither great happiness, neither great sufferings. Now that person has not given anything to others other than his/her parents or kids, so no one will give them anything in next life. They’ll again be born in a normal everyday family and will repeat the same kind of life, making no progress at soul level at all. Many people live this life only, concerned with their own materialistic progress. This is how a person with an average destiny spends his/her life.
When the time span of happy times is way higher than the time span of sufferings then we can call it a good destiny. Now people who have good destiny spend most of their life in happy circumstances. It doesn't mean that they don’t get their quota of sufferings but most of the time these sufferings are of their own creation of this life only and even then there are no big setbacks in their lives.
Suppose someone is born in a royal family. By the virtue of his/her birth, he/she is rich. He/She doesn't need to work hard to earn his/her bread. He/She has plenty of money, he/she is already known in the society because of the family he/she birthed into. This as a result of his/her good karmas of past life or lives. Until unless he/she makes a blunder by his/her own actions, a good prosperous life is a given thing. This is what is called having a good destiny. The nature of it has given you a chance to start good. Now it is in your hands what you make out of it.
Suppose a person born so misuses his/her clout or money, goes after fulfilling his/her desires and continue to do so for the rest of his/her life. Then in next life they'll be born to a normal family because of his/her accumulated karmas. He/She was born into a good family as a reward for his/her past good karmas but that reward is spent, now there is nothing left.
If someone born, undertakes good deeds, help people in need, then he/she will again be born in a good family. The people he/she has helped will help his/her in some other life.
Good destiny can also be understood by the life of people who win big lotteries. Now your hard work has absolutely nothing to do with your lottery ticket. You may have read many stories of people doing simple jobs and then one day, go on to win the lottery of 10 million. Now we can say, what a good destiny he/she has. Now this again happens because of certain good karmas. The people who do the public good in one life; for example there is a doctor who treats patients for free or someone who feeds hungry people and things like that, they are paid back by the public in the appropriate lifetime. Suppose such person has taken birth in a normal family because of certain deeds of him/her. Now til the time his/her bad karma, it is not over and he/she’ll face struggle in life but the day that bad karma is accounted for, because of his/her earlier public good, he/she‘ll be rewarded adequately.
When the time span of sufferings goes way beyond the time span of happiness, we call it a bad destiny. Bad destiny is again a result of our bad karmas only. Sometimes karmas are so bad that people go through horrifying experiences in one lifetime. For example, if someone is born in a messy family goes through a disturbed childhood it can be called bad destiny only. Kids who suffer emotionally in their childhood can very rarely have a normal life. Their life remains scarred unless they make a lot of effort to correct it.
Some people struggle at every stage of their lives, be it at a financial front or at an emotional front. It is again their destiny only. But remember, that they only have created this destiny for themselves by bad karmas in the past.
People who become victims of various heinous crimes with none of their faults in this life are also the people who are paying for their past deeds. We, ourselves ensure our sufferings by indulging in bad deeds.
We blame destiny and "God" for our sufferings but destiny is not created or decided by the God, we ourselves shape it.
Only You Can Change Your Destiny, No One Else Can
Now destiny is something which is beyond our control. Whatever karma you have created in the past, you’ll pay for it. Nothing in this world can save you from that. Even God cannot change your destiny. People who claim to have the ability to change one’s destiny by using some crystal ball, are all tricksters of different kinds.
Your destiny is the result of your past karmas only. And past has already happened. The only way to correct it, is to somehow go back in the past and correct all your bad actions. Now the problem is none of you have the time machine to do it, as such a thing does not exist. So no matter which herb you burn with which mantra, no matter in which posture you sit and recite God knows what in the name of mantra, no matter which crystal you put where, no matter which chakra you try to cleanse, nothing, just nothing will happen. You’ll suffer till the time you are supposed to suffer.
Had it been so easy to erase the slate of our karmas by simply paying someone in this or that name or doing different exercises then no one in the world would have ever suffered. The world itself would have not survived because everyone would have created a havoc fulfilling his/her ever increasing desires and at last would have erased the slate using this or that medium. When people suffer, they almost always just want to go to someone who promises them to take out of their miseries for a small amount. But it never works. People can befool you, you can befool yourself too but no one in this universe can befool the Nature of it. No one can bypass the system.
Whatever has happened in the past has happened, that can not be changed at any cost. But if you correct your actions today, you can correct your destiny for future. Ultimately destiny is net result of your good and bad deeds only. If you stop doing bad to everyone and start helping everyone and anyone around, if you start spreading smiles instead of tears around, you can definitely change your upcoming destiny. There is absolutely no other way to change your destiny outside of that.
Every life has an opportunity. If we learn our lessons from our sufferings and don’t repeat the same mistakes again we won't suffer again. Everyday is an opportunity for us to correct ourselves. We keep on dwelling in the past and we keep on dreaming about the future all the time, we never want to remain in our present. Look at your thoughts sincerely and you’ll realise that either you were thinking about your past or you were daydreaming about your future. However you have no control over any of these. What has happened has happened and what is going to happen, no one knows. We should think every day about what we can do today to make ourselves better people. How can you shun the feelings of hatred, jealousy, greed, violence inside me. To whom can you forgive today from the bottom of your heart. How can you help others who are in need today. Once you start doing any of these actions on a daily basis, all your pain and suffering will go away.
Everyday is an opportunity to learn something new. The simple Nature of it is so kind that it throws numerous opportunities at us everyday. What we do with these is our choice. We can grab the opportunity and learn or we can simply waste it.
Everyone of us has the same opportunity but no one truly holds themselves accountable to grasping them. This is what I call missed opportunities. The Nature of it keeps on throwing opportunities at us to learn but people are busy either in pleasuring themselves or cribbing about their destinies. Understand, opportunities don’t knock on your door everyday. You keep missing them and you’ll never have them again. Never wait for a favourable time to start your journey because there is no favourable time. Things will never be perfect, but do it today if you can. Better now, then never right?!
Everyday offers an opportunity and with every passing day we are getting closer to our deaths and by wasting this day, we are simply wasting another opportunity to learn and make our destinies better.
Treat every day as an opportunity to learn something. Try to make someone happy everyday. Try to wipe someone’s tears everyday. Try to forgive someone everyday. Try to let go and move on everyday. Don’t ask "God" for forgiveness as it may not ever be given. A true judge can never be partial. Ask to grant yourself wisdom so that you don’t repeat your mistakes and suffer further.
Be thankful for the happy times that you have today. And again be thankful for making you learn the lessons you have learned from your sufferings.