I keep hearing people say that in order to keep a good man you should have hot food, great sex and manage the household well. I wonder though if that’s all it takes to keep a good man then why do so many of them leave when they are getting all of those things? I want to challenge both good men and women to think about what you like, what grounds you? What makes you smile? What keeps you happy? I feel like since we all have to eat, then we should all know how to cook. We should all keep a clean home because living in filth is just gross. Beyond that I think what’s truly missing is being real about our fears and challenges. There’s so much that people think but never say. Many of us are so guarded that we don’t even really know ourselves. We take lessons from church, our parents, grandparents, the bible and many other outlets that we think are trustworthy. However, many of these things that are passed down have roots in slavery, patriarchy, sexism and belong in a time where those things worked well. I’m not saying that thoughts weren’t challenged back in the day but I am saying that to think independently from the larger group and the status quo was frowned upon. I encourage you to think very clearly about the things that move you down to your soul. Marriage isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. Church isn’t for everyone and that’s also okay. Find what makes you happy and create life with someone who makes you happy. What’s so for me isn’t so for you and I love it like that. Be yourself….be the best at that. Nothing else matters.