I have never been the willing recipient of these words from anyone who knew me, they have always come from (well-meaning) people, even loved ones, who do not know me. My whole life has been unrealistic to begin with.
When you enter this world sensitive to everything and everyone around you, when you know you carry a love inside you bigger than anything you can describe, the odds are stacked against you to function in a “realistic” world.
I encourage you if you have traveled this road to make up your mind and spare yourself the unnecessary pain–be the “real deal” instead, and let the world adjust and just be YOU. What is “proper” and “fitting” will be the outcomes of your alignment, they are not worthy enough as goals in themselves.